Friday, April 11, 2014

the wisest of favors

We've never met, but I'm writing this for you: for all you tellers of stories and weavers of webs out there, my fellow human beings. In particular, for those of you who may have gotten lost - in your own creations, in your own well-practiced, self-defeating views on who and what you are, in your very own minds. I don't know you, your story or your background. I have no idea exactly what's led you to believe the things you do about yourself. I do know how it feels to believe the world is a scary place, though, and that it's somehow lacking. I know remarkably well the consequences of believing that I'm not capable enough, good-looking, talented, or bright enough for this world; believe me, I'm well-versed in stories of self-loathing that suggest I'll never be able to accomplish the simple things of life that everyone around me seems to pull off perfectly without any trouble. So even though I don't know your personal circumstances, I do know pain; I know fear; I get it - and that's why I feel okay writing to share with you what I've found...and continue to find.

I have found that regardless of the stories I've told about myself and the world, I and It are more than okay - and so are you! I want you to know that you're okay. I want you to know that you are enough just the way you are. I want you to know that not only do you not need to be like your brother or your sister or your mother or your father, or anyone else in that cast of characters involved in the theater of your life, it's impossible. It can't be so. You're a miraculous combination of traits and energies all your own, by design. Every single person on this planet has varying degrees of ugliness and beauty; they have their goodness and they have their flaws. And while their possessed, unique combinations might differ from yours, the fact that everyone has this balance, makes us all inherently equal. So do yourself the wisest of favors: be done trying to emulate, or compete with, others. Be done trying to win another person's approval. Even those who know and love you best can never know your heart, not really. Not to its depth. No one else can ever know what is truly best for you and what will make you happiest - no one. Your inner sense of rightness and worthiness is your wisest counsel. Your happiness in this life is between you and God - and that's the God of your own heart; your personal sense of the divine. Allow that to guide you where you're meant to go; don't let your stories of the past dictate what steps you take now, today. If the accomplishments of others inspire you, then use that as inspiration, period. Don't take it to mean you have do exactly the same thing or in exactly the same way. To use another person's light or greatness as a story of comparison in which you don't measure up is the most foolish, useless form of self-violence a soul can engage in. Use another's accomplishments as reminders that there are great things to be done in this world. And that includes by you - in your own way and in your own time. The greatness of one man is a message to the world that it, too, can rise and realize its own. Embrace these reminders as the beacons of hope and calls to action they are!

The voices from the past that haunt you are powerful, I know this from experience. They creep in to your mind and continue to echo decades after their first arrival. But those were voices of children, of people who didn't know you. No one knows your heart. No one knows the extent of your talents or your gifts. No one knows what forces lie dormant inside you awaiting the correct time and season. No one knows what special things you have in store. So for anyone - I don't care who it is! - to speak about you as if they know who you are, as if they know what's best for you, as if they know what you're capable of, is insane. People can be vicious; they can take one look at you and decide what you're all about (and of course, not like it) without even getting to know you - sometimes, that's the way of it. Just remember that their pronouncements are nothing more than a demonstration of their own perceptions - which ultimately have nothing to do with you. 

I know it's easy to get discouraged when you reference the past and take note of all the things you've not accomplished, all the seeming "mistakes" you've made, all the things you wished you'd have done by now, but haven't. I understand just how easy it is to think something about yourself based on everything you've been before, but please believe me, you are not your past. You are not the car you drive or place you live. You are not the money that you do or do not have. You are not your mistakes or past behaviors. You are not the conditions of your life situation. Most of all, you are not what other people think or say you are. Who you are and what you choose to do with the rest of your life is completely up to you from this moment forward. Today, this moment now, is where all of your power is - such grace! Today is where you find your freedom from all of those voices of the past and from the things that you dislike about your life. That freedom comes from looking inwardly and noticing that who you really are is beyond what any fearful or sad or limiting story would say you are. Even the most beautiful, striking and favorable stories could never capture the vast mystery of you!

I don't know you. I don't know your story line, your life situation, the particular lunacy of your individual chains. But I know that divine, still space at the core of every human being. And it's to that space, I speak. It's to that space, I bow. It's to that space I encourage you to live your life from. Allow that space to be the storyteller. Question who you think you are. Set your weaving down and see.


  1. You don't know me but you wrote this for me. I can't even begin to tell you how much this resonated with me. This is a powerful piece. I would like to use your words to wallpaper the part of my mind that is overcrowded with self doubt.

    Thank you for writing this.

    1. Alanna, your comment really means a lot to me. The fact is: if it resonated with you, I did write it for you. Thank you so much for reading and letting me know. I was hoping you'd find it. ;-)