Friday, April 22, 2011

facebook: my own private idaho

It's been about a week now since I signed up on Facebook, and I've been feelin' it out, trying to see if we're gonna get along or not - and I think we are. When I first signed up, now more open to connecting with people, I started searching for everyone from the past and wanting to see everything about everything. But now - yeah, not so much. It didn't take me long to get sucked in and then to realize that there's just way too much to engage with. And I've noticed that "everything about everything" doesn't necessarily want to engage with me either! So it works out.

I've decided to approach my Facebook page as an extension of my head or heart or house. It's a sanctuary. It's a place to hang out. It's my own private Idaho where I can come and rendezvous with things, ideas, and people that are special to me.

At first I was both sending and receiving "friend" invitations from people way back that I hardly knew. I genuinely tried to connect with them as best I could, especially the ones that were important to me, but we weren't connecting or sharing with each other. It didn't feel good; it felt false, contrived - so I deleted them. In the same way that I don't hold on to superfluous things, and in the same way that I try my best not to nurture feelings or thoughts that don't enrich my life in some way, I don't want a collection of "friends" that I hardly know or whom aren't already anchored in my heart to begin with (the people I know my world is a better place because of).

I don't need - or even really want - to talk to all my loved ones every day. But I adore signing in and seeing that they are there, all the people that I love gathered in one place, and knowing that we can connect with each other when we want to, when it feels right. I love seeing the pictures of my friends and family, just as if they were hanging on my bedroom "wall." I love that we're able to play online games together. I love that I can see all of the posts that they leave, and the way they share with everyone what's important to them - what they "like," and what's going on in their lives, regardless of whether it's considered "big" or "small."

In my opinion, this is all too special for me to be letting just anybody in.

Yeah, Facebook's a pretty cool deal. Took me awhile to get around to signing up. But pretty sure I'm gonna stick around.


  1. very good.. my sister's babies were why I signed up so I could play farmville with them. When they out grew it or their mother made them stop getting aunt tracy to give them 'things', I sort of let my "bitness" with it languish. My problem is I get easily sucked into time waste....and shiny things..

  2. I'm so glad you signed up!

    My account has gotten out of hand in terms of numbers that I had to create sub-files just to keep up with those I want to keep up with most. I have a family folder, Autism folder, spirituality friends folder, high school & college friends folder etc. etc. That way I just click on the folder I want to see. Some folders, or people, I look at daily, others weekly, some monthly, some rarely.

  3. I like your system! It's organized and categorical, the way I like to keep things. And it's good knowing they're there when you're ready. :)

  4. When my godmother (and my father's sort of strange/estranged sister) "friended" me, I knew the tide had turned hahaha. (For the record, my dad gave me permission to ignore her request). I loved Facebook as an undergrad (we were one of the first schools to "have" facebook, during the end of my senior year) and recent grad, but it's sort of lost its appeal for me. I'd rather hear from the few people I'm still close with in person, rather than see baby pictures from the 890 people I'm no longer connected to. I think it's all about how you use it, and being intentional about the community you build. I wish I hadn't added people "willy nilly" as a naive 21 year old. ;-)

  5. "...rather than see baby pictures from the 890 people I'm no longer connected to." - LOL!

    Yeah, I really do think it's about whether or not people add value to your life. And speaking of that, do you (still) or does On Tap have a Facebook page? Because Elizabeth, you do fit that criterion, you know. For realz. Just putting it out there. =)