Sunday, January 9, 2011

like a balloon let go of

I don't like feeling weighted down.

It doesn't make sense to me, holding on to useless objects and piles of stuff. I've heard it said that our outer environment is a reflection, related to what's going on inside us - and with a mind-stream that has its fair share of cumbersome stories floating about, the less junk I have surrounding me the better. Clutter feels claustrophobic. I'd much rather have spaciousness and that sense of lightness that goes along with it

In that spirit, these past few weeks, I've been going through my admittedly modest amount of possessions, and have been giving away, and getting rid of, all the things I just don't want or need anymore. The guitar I never got around to learning to play, canvases old and new, linens and a microwave and kitchenware that I'd been holding on to from that long ago time of living on my own. I went through my little portable, expanding file and shredded now-insignificant letters and documents. I've sold several books. Recycled my iMac. Given away clothes. Consolidated all my photos in to Shutterfly albums - which have turned out so well! I even went through and canceled all the online accounts that I no longer use. I told my mom that I'd been doing all of this and she was kind of surprised, aware of my penchant for making things around me disappear, wondering what in the world I had left to get rid of - haha! It's probably the biggest purging I've done yet - and there's a sense of liberation in it.

I totally understand why people have keepsakes and treasure souvenirs and whatnot. I have a couple myself. I'm incredibly sentimental. I love photographs. I love the memories that have been left me. But for the most part, I'm just not compelled to cling to the physical remnants of people or places or events. I hold their essence, the Heart feelings they stir in me, instead - and that's more than enough to see me through this life.

I love knowing that I could just pack a few bags, keep happy thoughts, and that in doing so, I'd have all I'll ever need. I love knowing that I could just up and leave like a bird. Or blow away like the wind.


  1. I've been doing the same thing lately! I purge and organize fairly regularly, and am already pretty lean in the possession dept. This year I decided I wanted to lay my eyes and hands on every single item in my house so I could decide to keep it or give it away. It's been a wonderful process - so deeply satisfying...

  2. I'm getting this impression, and you can tell me if this is correct or incorrect, that you are preparing for something. I sense a theme in recent posts, that there is movement, and it has momentum now.

    A goal I have set for the new year is to do purging, emails, junk, whatever during the waning moon cycles each month. That will keep the process structured and organized. My brain has less drawers and file cabinets than most people's so I need to find structure externally. Whatever works, right?

  3. Yes, Suzanne, you are right on. Momentum! I like that word - that's what it is. I don't know what it's gonna look like yet, but I want to do things and go places, and living like I have isn't conducive to all of that.

    I love your idea of using the moon cycles! I've read how advantageous it can be to work with the waxing phase for creation and beginnings and the waning phase for decrease and letting go of. Good for you!

  4. I've done this kind of purging a couple times in my life. My most dramatic was selling, giving away or just leaving everything I owned except what fit in 2 small suit cases and running away to Romania for 2 years to find myself. It was such an amazing experience to go from full 3 bedroom house in a money hungry society to an empty 1 bed tiny apartment in a poor village in the middle of nowhere and learn to live life and enjoy it to the fullest.

    ICLW #121