Monday, November 1, 2010

my sweet november

I met a boy from New Jersey - a high school boy, actually - several years ago when I was in my early 20s. Online, of course. I thought he was adorable. What I liked about him most of all was how he pretended to be a tough guy when, to me, his sensitivity was so obvious. Now, in a normal "relationship," five years age difference isn't that big of a deal. But throw in the long distance, throw in the pesky notion of statutory rape, and the fact that one's a high school student and the other a lunatic - it's a gnarly combo. And I knew it at the time. I knew it was nothing serious, that nothing would come of it, and that we were just killing time. But that didn't keep me from enjoying getting to know him.

Over time, I've cultivated many relationships online, especially in these last more reclusive years. Some people I've physically met and some I haven't. But each of them have been special to me in one way or another. I always like to say that once someone has made there way in to my heart, that's where they stay. Yeah, it's true that people come and go, and that relationships change or even seem to fade away - and I don't try to stop them. Not anymore. I don't need to. Everyone I have ever loved or ever will love are only just a thought, scent, or song away. Love is an inner joyous state of beingness. It only takes one. No bartering and no reciprocity are needed.

I'm not too sentimental about things; I can do without souvenirs or physical objects. I don't hold on to cards or letters; I don't need mementos. I am, however, terribly sentimental about memories themselves, and the love that brings them about.

The boy from New Jersey was only in my life for a short time, only some months. One of his favorite movies at the time was Sweet November, with Charlize Theron and Keanu Reeves. I'd never seen it, so one night when it was on, he called me and we watched it with each other over the phone - and it was so good! I still like it.

And ever since, I've associated him with both the movie and the month. A few years ago, after not speaking to him for a really long time, it occurred to me that, just for fun, I should let him know. So, I found him on MySpace and sent him a message wishing him a sweet November - and the tradition was born. Now, every year on November 1st, I do it again. I send him a little email just to say "hi."

He never responds and I don't expect him to.
I just like knowing that he knows he's remembered.

It only takes one.

7 comments:

  1. So often I read on my phone meaning to comment later on computer. Then I forget. I made a mental note to come back and tell you how moved I was by this post. It only takes one. So true, yet so easy to forget. So easy to get caught up in 'what am I getting in return' but that's doesn't emphasize the giving. Thank you for that reminder. Your tradition is sweet.

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  2. Hey, thanks, AMR! I half-suspect he thinks I'm crazy to do it, but unless he tells me to stop, I'll keep it up each year. It's nice to see his face and to say "hello" to that sweet sliver of time.

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  3. I too am a sentimental person, who can conjure up good (and bad) memories at the mere hint of a song, scent, word or date.

    Thanks for sharing your memories!

    ::mingle::

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  4. I think your Sweet November ritual is thoughtful. A nice tradition.

    ::mingle::

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  5. Your November hello is very thoughtful. I love the idea that it only takes one to love. True love does not require reciprocity. Beautiful. Thanks for that reminder.

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  6. Thank you, heartincharge. I love knowing it, too. It brings me immense comfort. Take care!

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