Sunday, February 7, 2010

put on blast

I don't want to be one of those "spiritual" people. The kind who push hackneyed "happy-happy" ideals without the slightest bit of life, lived, behind them. I don't want to be that guy. I want to walk my talk, without traces of self-righteousness or hypocrisy. And I think I do...for the most part. I try to be as transparent as I possibly can without throwing up or running away. I'm not perfect - obviously - and I try to keep mindful of that. But oftentimes I notice my ego and I realize that more humility is called for and that plain silence would prove a wiser approach, or more accurate an explanation.

I have come to welcome being called out on these ego flare-ups of mine - because it hurts like of a son of a bitch. All inner disturbances I feel - whether from a painful train of thought or something embarrassing taking place in my physical experience - whatever it may be - if they move me away from inner peace, I know that it is there to "wake me up." I've come to use these as signals, calling me back inward to remain present and mindful of what is True. It stings the ego, but exhilarates the soul.

And in this spirit, I really enjoyed reading Ram Tzu's book, "No Way: A Guide for the Spiritually 'Advanced'." All his brief passages put the ego on blast. It's good stuff:

You want out
You want escape
You want relief.

You meditate
To block out life.
You chant
To put the world on hold.
You pray
To get what you want.
You take drugs
To get there faster.

Ram Tzu knows this...

Your noble search for God 
is but a sly dodge.

I like this because it reminds me that no matter what I may do in the "search for God" - it is all just more doing. And all that doing is but a dodge - a story-telling and an avoidance. It reminds me that all I need do, is be the God-ness I Am.

You believe in free will.
You believe you make yourself sick.
You believe you choose your own parents.
You believe you can control your dreams.
You believe you can take charge of your life.
You believe there is a child within that you can heal.
You believe you have the power of prayer.
You believe that you can make a difference.
You believe your pain is your fault.
You believe you can do better.
You believe you are responsible
You believe all sorts of shit.

Ram Tzu knows this...

When God wants you to do something
You believe it's your own idea

This is so good! All the inner impulses we experience - whether destructive or devotional - we claim as being of our own doing. But I really don't think that they are, in the greatest sense. We like to think we are masters of our fate. But perhaps we are Fate itself. Perhaps we are all the Will of God, unfolding as It sees fit.

Ram Tzu hears it all the time...

You had a profound, revealing,
Deeply moving spiritual experience.
Now you're hooked.
Now you want more.
Now you're a seeker.

No junkie has ever 
Been more dedicated
Or more continually disappointed
Or more miserable.

Once you might
Have been satisfied
With a new car
Or a loving mate.

Now you will settle
For nothing less
Than union with God.

Ram Tzu knows this...

You're fucked.

In his poignant way, he's saying that once we get it in our head that God is something we can search for, and we start to use it as our latest (even if our final) attempt to find fulfillment from something outside ourselves, we're gonna be looking (unsuccessfully and miserably) for a very long time - because it's not out there to be found; it's not something we can get or use; it's what we are.

Also, and I think one of the most important to remember:

Ram Tzu knows this...

You respond to flattery.

You adore being
Told that you are:

Pure Love
Ultimate Goodness
Perfection
God
Everything Wonderful and Worthwhile

You flock to masters
That reassure you
You're not the debased
Little asshole
You secretly know yourself to be.

Guess what?

The You they are talking about
Isn't you.


I love this last one because it's important to remember that when we are spoken of as God and Perfection, it isn't the human ego/personality that is perfect and beautiful. The ego loves hearing things like that and taking a comfy seat up on its pedestal. But no. No man is God, I've heard it said. It is the God/Source that gives rise to the All that is perfect. It is the Oneness that is being spoken of - and that is a very significant difference to keep in mind. Humans are flawed AND a manifestation of the Divine.

The book was filled with gems like these - asking us just who we think we are, and pointing out that we're even less (or more) than that.

2 comments:

  1. ram tzu is one of my personal favorites! I went to sit with Wayne Liquorman (Ram Tzu is his pen name) when he came to boulder a few years ago. I just couldn't stop smiling. he was adorable, and it was so much fun to be let in on the joke. thanks for the dose of him today. and aren't the illustrations hilarious, too?

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  2. I had never heard of Ram Tzu until you mentioned this book on your blog a little while back. I'd seen Wayne's name before on Amazon or wherever, but had never read anything of his. I didn't realize they were one and the same; I hadn't caught on to that! And yes, the pictures are funny!

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