This is what Jesuit priest and spiritual author/speaker, Anthony de Mello, suggested that we say, in his book, "Awareness" - instead of things like, "You make me so happy. Your love completes me." Saying that happiness just arose may sound impersonal and unromantic - but it takes the burden off of
And does it not makes sense? Isn't it true that happiness often does arrive of its own accord? Just as we sometimes meet someone for the first time and experience an immediate, inexplicable dislike - in the same way, we can also experience feelings of affection and familiarity.
It's easily understandable that we'd assume that others - or even things - are what bring us happiness. It's easy to be hypnotized by the individual traits and charms of the ones that we love and care about. Its these various qualities of all of life that make it interesting and that draw us to explore it. But when you look to the phenomena of the outer world and begin declaring it as something other than yourself, capable of influencing your inner world, it's easy to get swept away, handing over your personal power in the process.
I think that the key to holding on to our power and maintaining peace in our relationships is to conscientiously remember who we really are. Remembering that our core nature is Source Itself - the Source that gives rise to worlds - will grant us a joyful detachment. We'll be present as the aware witness, observing the feelings that we experience as they independently rise and fall away. We'll see the infatuation, arousal, passion, jealously, adoration, etc. - and know ourselves to be the Space that encompasses them, and that which is simultaneously beyond them; we'll know ourselves to be the Space that allows All else to be. This realization, as we interact in each of our various relationships, will allow us to love in a more transcendent, less egoic way.
If we do this consistently, we'll know that the joy we feel when we love another comes from God Itself - and not the outer form that we like to cling to and romanticize. Whether we are thinking of our lover, our car, the piece of cake we had after lunch (or whatever brings us pleasure) - all are God. So, when the person we are in a relationship with disappoints us, betrays us, walks - or even passes - away, we can remain unshakably at peace because all that will have been lost is Universal Energy - and Universal Energy cannot be lost. We're able to bless this particular manifestation's change or disappearance, knowing that the essence of who they are - is alive and present in our lives everywhere we look. God/dess is always expressing Itself. We might miss the person's particular uniqueness, but we'll not grieve indefinitely, knowing that as long as I AM, as long as God Is - so are they.
"When you and I met, happiness arose."
I love that idea. It's helpful to me; it keeps things in perspective. But I would also like to add this: "When you and I fought, frustration and anger arose. When you and I kissed, magic arose. When you and I laughed, joy arose. When you and I changed, evolution arose. When you and I parted ways, sadness arose. While I don't want to diminish things, with each connection special - ultimately, none of it had anything to do with a "you" or a "me."
We were God/Allah/Source doing what It does.