Today I had an epiphany! I was shaving my head and the thought appeared in my mind: You are doing this wrong. You're not doing it the way the guy did on the YouTube clip. Which shouldn't matter at all! I've figured out how to shave my head just fine; I've found a way that works for me and have been using it for almost three weeks now. If it's working for me, then how could it be wrong?
Comparing myself to others is such a deeply ingrained thought pattern that I have. When I was very young in elementary school, from the other kids making fun of me, I picked up the idea that there was something wrong with me. And as conditioning tends to do, it just snowballed throughout my life, I guess. So, when it seems that I'm not looking, acting, or living as other people appear to be, I tend to assume (even though, logically, I know better) that I'm doing something wrong. And today, it hit me - in my gut, not my mind - that the idea is absurd! It's a lie! My head looks good! What I'm doing is just fine!
Yes, a shaving technique is a tiny, trivial thing in life - but it's an example that represents everything, big and small. The way we think about things, the way we dress, walk, have sex, wash the dishes, raise our children, sneeze, butter our toast, make decisions, and all of our preferences - they are all different. We have accents, we have moles and freckles, crooked noses - everything! There are a billion different variations of humanity and its ways of being. Even groups of people and behaviors that appear to be similar are just that: similar, but not the same. The mind tends to take those similar, maybe even more popular ways of being, and forming them in to one big group of "rightness." And if we happen to be even the slightest bit different, the mind will attack us and make us wrong. What a load of crap! It's not possible for something to be wrong! It seems so clearly obvious to me now. It makes me wonder how I could have overlooked the liberating nature of this fact for so long. I'd heard it and even believed it, but I hadn't grasped it. I wonder how many other people haven't seen it either.
If we all really got this, if it really sunk in - man, I think it could free a lot of people from a lot of unnecessary suffering. What trust and confidence in ourselves (in all aspects of our lives) we all could have if we knew that what and how we were doing it is perfect and that it couldn't possibly be - and shouldn't be - any other way.