Friday, November 6, 2009

choosing in the face of fear

This post is a seeking of clarity.

I've been taught by many teachers - and I feel it to be true - that Life is Joy. It is meant to feel good, to be fun, and to be lived with a sense of excitement, because the essence of who we are (God/Source), is all those things - and going against our true nature, naturally doesn't feel good.

That not feeling good is our built in emotional navigation system that alerts us when we're not aligned with our Source - and we're signaled to this by the negative emotions we feel. It's a little poke on the shoulder letting us know that we're thinking or acting in a way that is not in alignment with our Highest Self, and therefore not in our Soul's best interest.

I've also been taught that whenever I'm faced with a choice of action, big or small, that feels anything less than an extraordinary sense of "Yes!" or a sense that it's the most logical, impassioned thing I can do in the moment, then it's not the wisest or most beneficial choice for me to make.

The experience of fear would be one of those signals and one that I've been getting lately, quite a lot. I know it's telling me to have another look at the situation, that I'm not seeing things through the eyes of God. But I'm confused what that feeling is and the factual thoughts that go with it.

Moving to Tampa was an attempt at jumping in to the unknown and having faith that God/Goodness would support me. When I got there, though, and had a closer peek at what and who I'd be living with, it didn't feel right. And I wonder now if trusting that feeling was the wisest thing to do - or if it was just a fearful, dysfunctional behavior pattern that I let lead me away from something that could have turned out great. Maybe I should have given it more time and just worked with what I had, questioning the things that I felt were wrong along the way? I don't know. Or is that initial fear/hesitation an instinct that knows it's best not to continue on and worthy of being listened to, regardless of the stories I tell about why it's happening? Is it something that I should do anyway, even though at first I don't have that big sense of excitement and rightness in my heart?

If anyone who reads this can see a difference and has ideas about this, I'd be grateful to hear from you.


  1. you know how I relish a good opportunity to experiment! maybe you could pick a couple situations where the stakes are low to play with a bit.

    maybe for one test, just be with your fear as you move slowly and steadily ahead, comforting yourself along the way and allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up as you move.

    maybe for another, allow your fear to stop you in your tracks and see how that feels over time.

    maybe for yet another, slow it way down and try to soothe yourself out of your fear before you take the next step.

    lots of possible permutations to play with! you might even find some other ideas on my parenting blog ( it's never too late to rewire your inner parent to be more supportive!

    there's a parenting approach I really like that addresses this very topic in a way I find quite satisfying: they advocate allowing feeling to express and release while continuing to set a limit or maintain an expectation. intriguing stuff...

  2. I think looking at this from the perspective of a child's fear is so correct. If, as a child, we don't learn how to process our emotions in a natural way, we can grow up with some pretty gnarly coping skills. I read a couple of those articles and it was cool to see the ideas presented to the parents as something I could do for myself - my inner parent, like you said.

    This was helpful, thank you!