Moving to Tampa was an attempt at jumping in to the unknown and having faith that God/Goodness would support me. When I got there, though, and had a closer peek at what and who I'd be living with, it didn't feel right. And I wonder now if trusting that feeling was the wisest thing to do - or if it was just a fearful, dysfunctional behavior pattern that I let lead me away from something that could have turned out great. Maybe I should have given it more time and just worked with what I had, questioning the things that I felt were wrong along the way? I don't know. Or is that initial fear/hesitation an instinct that knows it's best not to continue on and worthy of being listened to, regardless of the stories I tell about why it's happening? Is it something that I should do anyway, even though at first I don't have that big sense of excitement and rightness in my heart?
If anyone who reads this can see a difference and has ideas about this, I'd be grateful to hear from you.