Sunday, October 25, 2009

know yourself as me

My Beloved, you and I are One - and you know this. But lately, you've found comfort in the reaching out to a God outside yourself - as you would to a parent or guardian, or a friend. So, I come to you now in this form because it seems you need reminding. It seems you need fresh invitation.

You often say that you want peace.
You often like to imagine that you're lost and helpless.
You often say that you'd like to know your purpose in life.

But I invite you to ask yourself if you're being honest.

You know the teachings. You've been blessed with countless pointers showing you back home to Yourself, to Me. The truth of your being has been revealed to you over and over again. You have known the experience of Pure Aliveness. And yet, over and over again, you wander back to sleep, back in to the dream. This is fine. It's part of the play of God. It's the Leela. But when you torture yourself and when it becomes a nightmare, waking up becomes essential and is inevitable. Awakening itself calls you - and this is why I'm here. You have called me and I am here.

Do you really want Peace?
Do you really want to know who you are?
Do you really want to find your path?

You know all there is to know. Truly. But if you
act on what you know, it would mean the end of all your game-playing. It would mean no longer investing yourself in other people's opinions of you. It would mean washing your hands of the supposed "shoulds" and "should nots." It would mean no longer worshiping your personal story and your sense of self. It would mean no longer being enslaved by past and future. It would mean giving up the illusion of control.

These the ego-mind will revolt against.
Are you prepared for this?

I encourage you to seriously consider the idea that you aren't who you imagine yourself to be. I encourage you to seriously consider that you're not as powerful or as in control as you have imagined yourself to be - that saying you think the thoughts you do or act the way you do is as accurate as saying you grow your hair or beat your heart. I encourage you to consider the idea that you are not the doer.

I encourage you to stop believing and obsessing over your thoughts - ALL of your thoughts. Thinking has its place. Thoughts are necessary and powerful. But get attached to them and you're lost. This is where your suffering begins! Is it not? Without your memories, without your anticipations, without your story and your fears that tell you who you are - who are you? Where is the man who is lost with no direction? Where is the man who has made mistakes? Where is the man who is unhappy with certain choices made? Is he anywhere to be found? Are you really this man? Or are you much, much more? I suggest it's worth a look.

I encourage you to stop believing that there is something you
need to do or need to be. What you are doing is all there is to do - and if you're honest, you'll see that there is nothing else occurring for you to compare it to. How could it be wrong? Your path is to take the next intelligent step. Your path is to drink a glass of water, to laugh or cry, to pee, to go for a walk, to do whatever it is you do. Dogs bark. Grass grows. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes the sun shines. And this particular Jeff, this particular life-stream, sometimes feels lost. Sometimes this particular Jeff, this particular mind-stream, is flaky and feels uncertain. Other times he doesn't. Enough said. The mistake, if there were such a thing, is believing something other than what is happening should be happening.

I encourage you to consider that most of your suffering comes from your fear of how others perceive you. But not only is it none of your business, other people's impressions of you are NEVER true. Even if what they are judging you for is factually correct, their sense of it and what they think it says about you is a story all their own - a set of ideas they've been told and have been gathering since their younger days. Each impression carried is only a story.

At first glance, it might look like people's perceptions of you are solid, based in fact and history, something dependable and real. It seems very solid and substantial, as if how you appear and behave right now is who you ultimately are and what you will forever be about - but you are really just in a sea of dancing thought patterns, a swirling around of brain chemicals reacting - nothing stable, nothing lasting, and nothing personal - just stories held, based on conditioning.

And even when it seems that a group of people share an opinion about you, that does not mean that their opinions are true. The reason that they have all come to their conclusions all vary and are separate - and have nothing to do with who you really are - or even your temporary personality. It is false to even believe that you, as you see yourself, even lives in other people's heads. To others, as well as yourself - you, as you see yourself - do not exist. Is it wise then to beg and plead for acceptance? Is it wise then to attack imaginary villains? Would it make sense?

Not just your soul - but your body and mind; your very humanness is beyond definition and judgment. It simply is what it is. Nothing else is real or required.

Have fun with your moments - and your story. Just know that's all it is. It's yours and no one
else's - so do not be enslaved by the stories of others - or even the images in your own mind. Even if the most painful images were true - and they never are - it is just a chemical firing of the brain. This can't be said enough.

Be easy about all of this. Lighten up! You are going to die one day. That is not just some idea to be quickly skipped over - you are literally going to be dead. Why trouble yourself so much? The people you try so hard to impress will be dead one day as well. So no matter what kind of impression you make with these people - good or bad - they will disappear and die right along with the people who have formed them. The impressions they had of you will be buried away forever - all their
misperceptions of you, all the distorted, conditioned views of you will end up in the grave. Why worship something so arbitrary and useless (and small to your own daily life experience) - when one day, they will cease to exist altogether? Why not free yourself from all these people you seek to impress? Why not cast off the notion that you need to impress anyone - including yourself? Instead, be who you are, for the Love of God - literally! Do what you want, appear how you want, listen to your music, read your books, write your poems, take your walks, eat your food, sing your songs and dance, make love to those who stir you, be ALIVE! No apologies, no excuses ever need be made.

Do what pleases you and what you are inspired to do.
This is your purpose. There is nothing more you need to know.

There is no special person - draped in special and extraordinary circumstances - that you or anyone else has to be. You are enough. Each of you are so very precious just as you are.

Think about each of your friends, each of your loved ones.
Think of each connection you share with them.
Every single one of them - big or small.

Now, is it not the connection you share with each person that which you cherish? Is it not the Love that you have for the person that which you nurture? Just holding your precious friend in your awareness and feeling who they are - is that not the feeling you adore?

It is not the factual information that they share that keeps you around.
It is not the unfolding storyline of their lives that makes the difference.
It is not what they do with themselves that ties them to you.

It is their unique existence that you love, that you find miraculous. Their very
beingness and your shared connection makes them worthy. It is not what they do or how they look. It is not the surface of their drama that charms you.

Who they
are is what you love.
Yes, who they are -
and
that they are.

What would cause you to believe it would be any different with them?

I encourage you to consider that your obsession with time also leads you to suffering. Attempting to orchestrate and depend on some imaginary future is a fool's errand. To hold on to your yesterday is equally absurd. It is a dead thing, these memories you keep spinning in your mind. Even if it is something that seems to have happened recently in your mind - even just ten minutes ago -- that does not make it any more real Now. Memories of a yesterday or memories of ten minutes before - are ultimately as useless and unreal for you as a memory of something that took place decades ago.

None of them are real in the present moment. Live as a baby. For all intents and purposes, you are brand new today. The special moments, as well as the trials, you imagine yourself to have had are gone. YOU are alive NOW. This is all that is useful to you. What will you do today? How will you spend your time right now? How will you cherish this moment? This moment, this moment, always this moment! Deconstruct your stories. Allow yourself to disassemble the "you" that you believe must come to pass. Allow yourself to disassemble who you thought you were - or the story you imagined took place. It is gone. It is nowhere to be found. For all intents and purposes, it never existed. There is nothing to hold on to. There is only the empty, endless, overflowing space of this Present moment, right now - this is You!

You asked for God to help you - and here I am!
Here I am! Are you listening? Can you receive this?

Allow yourself to die each night when you go to sleep. Allow your memories, your hopes, and visions about what is and what should be - allow these experiences to die as you fall asleep.

Your story, the world story - it IS a glorious adventure. It is to be enjoyed. Enjoy your moments. Love the people you are with. Love the air you are breathing. Love your dreams. Love your blessings. Love all of it, relish all of it. Love the present moment story - but see it for what it is - and then - LET IT GO! Say goodbye.

Say goodbye because they are no more. They no longer have any true hold on you. They have no true impact on your life - other than the power you hand over when you begin playing the story again and again in your mind. Other than when you make decisions - in the moment, mind you - about the supposed future, based on something that supposedly once was.

If your power is in your Now - and the Now is Infinite - All that ever was or will be - does it really make sense to make decisions and be obsessed with images of some dream of yesterday or unknowable future - no matter how sweet the dreams may be? Of course not.

You'd be wise and served infinitely well were you to treat your thoughts and images of any kind of mental story of past and future - as nonsensical dream debris left from sleep.

Would you live your life based on a dream you had last night?
Is there any difference? Investigate and find out.

Worry no more about your place in this world. Your breath, your heart, your presence, these are your contribution. Your job is to live. You are an expansive, immortal field of Awareness - feel imprisoned no more. You want to know your path? Allow the grace of the present moment to show you the way. Stay faithful to what presents itself - not what you desperately go searching for or try to manipulate in to being.

You've always had just what you needed to make it from one moment to the next and that will never change. Divine Providence cradles you. It IS you.

Be still, close your eyes, and breathe. This is what happens when you let go: your mind-ego will continue to operate - the drama of the illusory Life-play will continue to unfold - but it will no longer captivate you. You'll see the mind and body go on without you. You'll see the little self's tyranny just isn't needed. The Perfection of things - God - knows what to do.

Do you have what it takes? Can you simply listen? Can you simply receive what Life offers you without the archaic need to interpret and commandeer?

Remember that you are loved.
That you are Love itself.

Not the mind-stream of flowing thoughts that would tell you otherwise.

Only when you trust in that - really, really, trust, and allow yourself to rest in that, to surrender - will you awaken from the dream. Only then will you awaken from the nightmare of living as a someone.

You'll know that all really is well.
You'll know yourself as Me.

But these are all just words.
Go beyond the teachings.
Go beyond the concepts.

With a vigilant and open mind, practice letting them go - if just for a moment. Let it all go. Discover what is there and what is true.

3 comments:

  1. ahhhh, wow. this is incredible. thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This goes down like restorative oil that the body is craving, all in one vast gulp that is perfect in depth and immensity.

    Truly fabulous.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you, Karen!
    Thank you, Deb!
    So much.
    =)

    ReplyDelete